Music In My Head...

Some days I close my eyes and see lyrics, musical notes dancing inside my eyelids. I can barely escape it. Sometimes I believe there are certain thing we are suppose to do and music is what I'm supposed to do but the hard thing is that even though I visualize all of these things, I can barely catch a word or a note when my eyes are open. Words stay right on the tip of my tongue, I can feel the beat running through my veins but when I go to document it, its as if it never existed and my mind never dreamed all of it. Sometimes its frustrating and I find myself on the brink of insanity when trying to catch it all but I had to let someone, or better yet something know what was occurring. My mind slips inside of these musical doppelgangers daily, I'll see a tune, feel the beat, hear the melody, and then nothing. Its magical almost to see the dancing lyrics every time my eyes flicker close, during a nap,.

Maybe it wasn't meant to record, maybe it was a little piece of heaven for only my mind to experience but the hell I'm going through experiencing it just isn't or shouldn't be possible. I get terrible migraines, almost to the point of insanity. Last night I stared at the moon for close to an hour and just the words and thought process was amazing. I couldn't find a pen for the life of me, I had to write in the dark for fear that the light would break apart all my great ideas. I really hated it but I got some of the lyrics I've been dying to express out. Maybe its getting better, maybe I can actually produce some goodness out of my mind for once, besides snide remarks.